


The 47 Jobs of Richie Ryan, Job 4: Construction Worker

by Maple



Series: The 47 Jobs of Richie Ryan [4]
Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Gen, Humor, various comedians from the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-07
Updated: 2011-10-07
Packaged: 2017-10-24 09:22:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/261744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maple/pseuds/Maple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richie applies for a job at a construction site.  But after seeing how things are handled, he decides maybe it is safer not to work there after all.</p><p>Special guest cameos from various comedians!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The 47 Jobs of Richie Ryan, Job 4: Construction Worker

Richie stared with wide eyes at the construction site.

Everyone was wearing hard hats and boots, looking as if they knew what they were doing, but their actions spoke otherwise. The Foreman in front of him was looking over Richie's job application paperwork. "So you want to work here?" he muttered.

A guy, rotund and with dark eyes, was carrying a long wooden board across the lot and someone called to him. He swung around to reply and the board cleaved a wide arc around him. It would have knocked over another guy, but that guy had bent over to pick up something from the ground just at that moment and the board carved over his head with inches to spare.

The first guy didn't see who had shouted and turned back to continue, swinging the board again, still over the second guy's head. An additional call came and he swung the board again in the opposite direction, another arc of devastation. The second guy had dropped whatever he'd first found and gone to pick it up again and narrowly avoided getting clunked in the head a second time.

The Foreman paused to narrow his eyes at the scene Richie had just watched. "Ollie! Stan! Get back to work!"

"Yes, sir!" The first man doffed his hard hat and smiled with an agreeable laugh.

"Right away, sir!" The second man gave a loose-limbed wave.

The Foreman looked down at the paperwork again and Richie turned his attention to a group of three workers. One of them, overweight and clumsy, was hauling a heavy box to a second floor open window by a rope and pulley.

Another man walked under it and stepped on the first man's feet and the rope was released. With a definite thud, the box landed on the second man's head and he shouted in pain. "You nincompoop!" Then he started chasing after the man, who ran with a waddle. A third man watched them while eating a banana.

The Foreman didn't even look up at the two men rushed past.

"This says you know how to weld," the Foreman said.

"Yes, sir," Richie said. He was glad Tessa had spent the time with him to give him the basics.

"No formal training?"

"No, sir."

"Huh," the foreman said and went back to reading over Richie's application.

Richie saw another man, little and thin with spritely movements, doddering around the worksite. Dressed in overalls and looking more like a tramp than a construction professional, he was making quick work of ratcheting together some metalwork. In fact, he had both arms going at once. Not too far away was a man putting in some drill bits in the same metal work. It made the whole beam shake and shudder and the first man would shake backwards and then move forward again to get back to his task. As he neared the end of the beam, he quaked backwards and then moved forward again, but into thin air as the beam was gone. He kept up his ratcheting, his arms stuck in muscle memory.

"About the job—" Richie started to say and there came a tremendous clang and bang.

A saw blade zinged through the air, neck-high, and embedded itself in a brace of wood. It wobbled there, making a metallic-sing-song noise.

Richie's hand snaked up to his own neck as the air was filled with swearing and finger-pointing.

"Oh, crap," said the Foreman as he saw the accident. He shoved Richie's application back at him. "You gotta be better than this bunch of jokers I already got. Job's yours if you want it."

Richie was backing away, his attention darting everywhere, trying to figure out how to safely leave the work site. "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't think I'm qualified for this kind of thing." Then he beat it out of there, head intact.

**Author's Note:**

> First and Second man: Oliver Hardy and Stan Laurel
> 
> Group of Three: Larry, Curly and Moe!
> 
> The Little Tramp: Charlie Chaplin
> 
> And any of a dozen or so others could have caused that saw blade mishap!


End file.
